The Memories That Faded From Your Withered Thought
by bruisedfingers
Summary: [Long title, amazing results!] I'm going to prove what you mean to me. [JirOro, songfic.]


Title: The Memories That Faded From Your Withered Thoughts

Author: Jacqueline Hauck ( )

Pairing: Jiraiya x Orochimaru

Genre: Angst / Romance / Drama

Type: One-Shot / Songfic

Summary: After desperate attempts to regain Orochimaru's friendship, Jiraiya falls to his last, dreadful option.

Warning: Shounen-ai (boyxboy), Blood, etc.

A/N: Okay, this is my first Jiraiya x Orochimaru fanfic. So, uhm, don't flip out if it kind of sucks. I was just listening to a song, and the idea spurted out. . ; Kind of OOC, but oh well.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

(Music Copyright at bottom – don't want to spoil the song:3)

**Jiraiya's POV**

The sun is nearing its end for the day, causing the sky to turn to a red-orange sort of colour. As night nears, the winds pick up, the breeze hitting my white hair. I can feel white strands against my face, but I ignore them completely. Slowly, I stand up from my sitting position and head out, quickly getting to the forest and jumping from tree-to-tree, the air striking my face like daggers. Again, I ignore this feeling and keep running; I need to get there at a certain time, or else guard will be up too high for me to get in.

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_Hand in mine, into your icy blues_

_And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway"_

_With this trunk of ammunition too_

_I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets_

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Tonight, I am going to achieve the impossible. At least, what seemed impossible to me for so many years; tonight, I was going to break into the Otogakure hideout and face Orochimaru face-to-face. I wasn't going to beg for him to come back anymore. No, I realized that he wouldn't listen to me and Tsunade at all a year after my old friend left Konohagakure to make his one village.

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_I'm trying, I'm trying_

_To let you know just how much you mena to me_

_And after all the things we put each other through and..._

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We were stupid; the whole village was stupid. How could they have let Sound villagers inside the gates? Of course, no one was expecting the attack Sand and Sound had planned out, but wasn't it obvious something was going to happen? First, these unknown shinobis come into Konoha. We had no background information, and so they could've started the whole procedure the first day they walked in. Then, the Uchiha boy, Naruto, and the Haruno see Orochimaru in the Forest of Death. Along with that, Orochimaru decided to plant a curse mark onto Sasuke Uchiha's shoulder. Kakashi saw Orochimaru, also, when he put a seal over the curse mark on Sasuke. Obviously, if Orochimaru was in Konoha, something bad was headed our way, and—

What am I rambling about now? I have better things on my mind. Taking a deep breath, I fasten my pace; thank the gods that Orochimaru's hideout isn't incredibly far from Konoha. In fact, it was only a half hour longer until I got there, aproximetilly. I started to the Oto hideout this morning, and now my mission was closer to its end. All I really wanted was for this to end quickly.

Reaching into my pocket, I grab a kunai and held it tight in between my fingers. The feel of cold metal relaxes me a bit. At least something is familiar now. Everything around me feels like a different world, even though I've traveled this path before. The air, the trees, the small foxes climbing into their cozy dens all feels so foreign. Maybe it's just because the feeling of going after Orochimaru feels different, too. My mind is most likely teasing me, playing mind games with me.

"**Orochimaru, I don't see how you can live the way you are."**

"**What do you mean by that, now, Jiraiya?"**

"**You're emotionless, nerdy, and you act like you are completely immune to girls!"**

"**I apologize for not chasing after girls twenty-four seven."**

"**It's not just that! You aren't fazed by even the HOTTEST girls."**

"**Hn."**

"…**Are you gay?"**

"**Now, where did you get that assumption?"**

"**You look like a girl… And you've never thought a lady was hot. And I swear, I've seen you give google-eyes to a guy before."**

"**Hn."**

The truth was, I was the one hiding my affection more than anyone. Always, I'm chasing after girls, desperately trying to get in bed with them. Inside, though, this was a mere disguise; truly, I loved Orochimaru more than anything in the world. As much as I hated it, as much as I denied myself, it was true.

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_I would drive on to the end with you_

_A liquor store or two keeps the gas tunk full_

_And I feel like there's nothing left to do_

_But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running_

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I wanted Orochimaru more than any of those girls, and the women I bedded always wondered why under my breath, while pumping in and out, his name slipped out of my lips. They never asked, but I could see their puzzeled faces. I never gave them any explanation as to why I whispered his name, and thank the gods, they never asked.

Naruto would be laughing if he were listening to my thoughts right now. In fact, he'd probably think I was insane, even though he was the biggest nutcase I've ever met.

I pull myself out of my reminiscning and stop dead in my tracks. The hideout is right in front of me before my eyes. I stare at it, in a daze, until I finally realize I should hurry to get to Orochimaru before his servant catches me. Taking a deep breath, I try to walk, but it seems as if my legs won't move. So, I find myself staring at the hideout suspiciously, trying to find the perfect spot to sneak into.

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_But this time, I mean it_

_I'll let you know just how much you mean to me_

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I find my target. Ignoring the second thoughts, I make my legs pump, and I move towards the hideout, jumping into a tree nearby, and sitting near where my entrance shall be. Eyeing my surroundings closely, I slowly jump down and silently make my way into the hideout, holding my breath the entire time until I feel the tile surface under my feet.

My breath is let out a bit louder than I expected. Quickly, I grip my kunai tighter, looking around carefully. When I see or hear no presence comnig towards me, I make my way down the halls of the damned place. How the hell was I supposed to find Orochimaru in these twist and bends?

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_As snow falls on desert sky_

_Until the end of everything_

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Suddenly, I hear a low moan of pain coming from nearby. I freeze immediately, waiting to hear it again. The voice moans again, and I almost right away knew it was Orochimaru. Even though it didn't really sound like him, I just somehow knew it was him. Running towards that pained noise, I found myself in a dark room with only one, bright candle lit.

My assumption is completely correct; there, in an armchair, sits Orochimaru, moaning in agony, arching his head back as he did so. Blinking, I remember what I heard about the Hokage; they said he performed a jutsu on Orochimaru that only half-worked, taking his arms and nothing else, disabling him from jutsu. It must've been quite the jutsu because Orochimaru is so caught up in his misery that he doesn't even notice me in the room with him. I'm surprised to find that Kabuto isn't in here, serving his "master".

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_I'm trying, I'm trying_

_To let you know how much you mean_

_As days fade, and nights grow_

_And we go cold_

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Quietly, I step over to the other male, making sure to keep my presence unknown. Of course, he might know I'm here, and he might think I'm Kabuto. Putting my guard down a tad bit, I make it to where I am standing in front of him, looking down at him in his pitiful state. Still, he takes no action towards me as he groans. In between those hurt sounds, I can hear him curse the 3rd Hokage under his breath. I stand there and wait, seeing if he'll finally take notice to me. If not, my task shall be much easier than expected to be.

"What?" he snaps, his voice cracking a bit. I was a bit taken aback; maybe he knew that I have been here the whole time. Eyeing him, I wait for him to make another move, just to dare and make another move. I can tell that just speaking a mere word made him feel uncomfortable. Had he truly gotten so weak from the jutsu?

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_Until the end, until this pool of blood_

_Until this, I mean this, I mean this_

_Until the end of..._

------------------------------

"What the FUCK do you want?" he hisses, slowly moving his head up to glare at me. His golden eyes meet with mine, and we stood there in silence, examining each other's status without a word.

"… Well, Orochimaru, it looks like I have the upper hand," I point out, a slight smirk sneaking onto my lips. I can tell he is not so happy about this as he sneers as me, and then faces back to the ground, coughing like an old, sickly man.

"… I know," he admits, whimpering – well, close to a whimper – quietly, "but that does not mean I'm going to let it stay that way." Even though he pulls such a threat, he does not move to fulfill his words. I scoff at this, letting the kunai's loop swing in a circle around my index finger as we speak.

"Now, how do you plan on doing that, Orochimaru? You look weaker than Tsunade when she's on her period," I tease, my smirk widening just a bit. I can almost hear the scowl coming from Orochimaru as I say that. As we all know, Orochimaru was never exactly fond of women, and the topic of the menustratal period probably isn't very comfortable for him, since he basically lives with all men. Well, at least, I _think _they are men. The only one I know for sure is a guy is Kabuto, but he's not exactly hot stuff.

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_But this time, we'll show them_

_We'll show them all how much we mean_

_As snow falls on desert sky_

_Until the end of every..._

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"God, Jiraiya…" he grumbled, lifting his head and resting it up against the back of the chair, "… you never take anything seriously. Baka." Again, he has taken me aback a bit, but, of course, I should've expected him to insult me. Orochimaru never bothered to take my jokes into account, and I doubt he's really changed since we were younger. Of course, none of the three of us really have, have we?

"Well, you just look like you could take a good joke."

"Hn."

Damn, that stupid robotic reply of his; it annoys the hell out of me. Ask him anything, you get 'hn'. Say something funny, again, you get 'hn'. Actually, speak any word in the dictionary to him – guess what you get?

That's right. 'Hn'.

Deciding words were no longer of use to us, I move to the chair. Straddeling his hips, I bring the kunai to his white neck, only to get a glare from the snake-like man underneath me. My joking expression has completely faded away now, and I'm ready to finish what I originally came here for, and that did not consist of bickering with the man.

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_All we are, all we are_

_Is bullets, I mean this_

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"Hah. If that's what you came here for, why didn't you just wait for me to fall asleep and kill me then? Or are you too frightened to kill off an old teammate?" he taunts, raising an eyebrow towards me. I scowl at his arrogance.

"The Third seemed to have put no pity on you… why should I?" I half-question, half-state. Now, I can see his anger, but he hides it quickly behind a mask. How much I hate that mask, always hiding what he was feeling, disabling us from getting to know him.

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_As lead rains pass on through our phantoms_

_Forever, forever_

_Like scarecrows that fuel this flame, we're burning_

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"Fine, then. Go ahead. Kill me," he commands, sitting there submissively under my body. Sweat beads down my face as I press the metal against his neck a bit harder, looking to draw blood. Finally, blood started to slowly trickle from my kunai and stain the perfect white skin before me. Alright, I've gotten that far; now I just have to push it in hard enough to be considered cutting his throat. Biting my lip, I slowly push it harder, feeling my kunai break the skin underneath. I pause. He gives me a look.

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_Forever, and ever_

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I lean in towards him, my lips just barely touching his. I can feel his hot breath against my face, but I ignore the temptation to ravish him in his weak state. I let the kunai dig deeper into the flesh, but an ivory toned hand reaches up and grips my wrist tightly. Opening my eyes – when did they close? – I meet my onyx orbs with his golden ones. The sun bursting eyes staring back at me show no fear, worry, or anxiety; the only emotion that lay beneath those alluring orbs is unpatient anger.

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_Know how much I want to show you you're the only one_

_Like a bed or roses, there's a dozen reasons in this gun_

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"Do you think you intimidate me, Jiraiya?" he snaps at me, his grip on my wrist tightening. "Does that little mind of yours think that you even scare me the slightest bit?" At these words, I pause, then slowly let a smirk sneak onto my face. Before another contradiction can be sput out from Orochimaru's lips, I take those noise-making instruments and collide my own with his, bringing him into a deep kiss. I can tell by his expression that he is surprised by my reaction, but he takes no heed to relax and allow it to happen. After the long kiss, I break the kiss and look down at him, panting lightly. His face is a bit flushed; apparently, he has never experienced a kiss from the almighty Jiraiya.

"I think I do, Orochimaru," I add in, and I can see the attraction he had for me not even a second ago vanish. Suddenly, a pain hits my wrist, pushing a pained yelp from my lips. I look over and see the other male twisting the limb he was holding, trying to cause me as much pain as he was in. Ripping away from his grip, I get off him and look at his condition.

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_And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood_

_And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down_

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"Bastard..." he murmured under his breath, still keeping that death glare at me. I keep my head up high, though, as I look down at him. A light amount of blood is trickling down his throat, and his marble-toned complexion is now smoothed out with a soft, red blush across his face. Smirking, I decide that this was good enough ... for now. Turning around, I start to walk out the door.

"Jiraiya." I immediately stop when I hear my name called and spin around, looking to the snake-like man. He is panting heavily, due to the kiss and his ill condition, mostly to his deteoriating arms, though, and laying as far back as he can in his seat. This brings the memory back of when Orochimaru had been sick when we were kids, and me and Tsunade had to tend to him. He had been quite fiesty, always refusing pills or any medicines, snapping at anyone who walked by. It was quite humourous.

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_And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down_

_I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood_

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"Dammit, I hate how you make a production for your exit," he growls, falling into his chair more. A light smile comes across my face as I picture him as a younger boy again. Lean, fit, youthful; these characteristics have seemed to reside on his body for all of these years. Well, not exactly at this moment, but before all of this chaos occured. His obsidian locks were still smooth, and his pale skin stayed as smooth as ever. It was as if he had never really aged at all.

"What can I say? I like to make myself known." He sneers at this comment, and this makes a chuckle emerge from my throat. Walking back over, I grip his chin and pull his face back up to meet mine, leaning down and kissing his lips gently. Despite the thick pride he has implanted in his bones, he leans into the kiss, which takes me by surprise. Before he can fully experience the moment, I pull away and walk out the door, leaving him to his cursing and moaning once again.

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_I'll meet your eyes_

_I mean this_

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As Konoha starts to come into view hours later, I realize that even though I did not achieve my goal of killing Orochimaru once and for all, ridding of him forever, I still accomplished one thing that I have dreamed of for so much longer. It seems like a fairytale, but it's true; I kissed Orochimaru, and he didn't end up flailing his arms around and bucking his legs at me. No, he liked it, even though he tried to hide it.

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_Forever_

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Someday, I would be the one to tame the great snake.

End.

"Demolition Lovers" © My Chemical Romance


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